Tiny Cross to Bear

I don't think I have posted about this before but I have a picky eater in my house. No really, a severely picky eater. As in, I-sometimes-worry-about-his-health-picky. Its my oldest and it is honestly one of the crosses I pray about daily. I feel silly just admitting that as a cross when there are people who pick up the cross of abuse, hunger, poverty, torture and disease each day but right now, that is the cross I have to bear. Its the one that looms over me every day. I know that I am blessed with such a small one but I will admit, some days it looks 100 stories high. I work every day to put it in perspective, with God's grace of course. Some days, I can reduce it to a small annoyance, other days, I let it weigh on me.

I am bringing this up as it ties into something that I have been thinking about a lot lately - healthy eating and how I can be serving my family by being a better steward in the kitchen.

I have always thought of myself as a healthy eater. I had a poor self image in high school from a problem with my weight, which led me to learn more about what I should and shouldn't put in my body during college. This led to a desire to make it a career and I majored in Health Promotions (If I were more science-minded I would have preferred to be a dietician). So when I had children, I decided I would be one of those who regulated sugar in my house, ate more fresh produce and all whole grains. We would even eat seafood weekly. Then reality hit. Trying to take care of a newborn and go to work left little for food planning. Plus, I now realize that my idea of healthy eating was just a fraction of what I could, and maybe should be doing. So out came the formula, baby food and easy processed snacks. I also had a hard time knowing what my new precious baby could eat. I know some of you may think, duh, anything. But the naive mom I was worried that seafood would make him sick and he could not chew meat and that we could never serve carrots for breakfast.

So even though we did always have a veggie for lunch and dinner and I served mainly whole grains in my house, my child became accustomed to sugary yogurt and applesauce and eggo waffles (although I tried to buy the ones with more whole grains). Looking back it was a half-hearted attempt. Plus I was feeding my child as I would have fed myself and as someone always watching my weight, I shied from high fat. Something so healthy for a child.

Ok, fast forward almost 5 years. Today I have a child who lives on about 20 foods. To this day, I am not sure if his pickiness is something I let happen or if its something in his personality. I think its a combination but only God knows. The reason why I get so frustrated with myself though is that I wish I had never introduced some of the 20 food he loves as now we are stuck eating that in my house all the time. Now that I really want to make true healthy changes, I am bound by trying to decide if I let my 5 year old starve or be a good steward of the kitchen. See my dillemma?

Wait, I am sure some of you are thinking, just force him. But that is where the "extreme" part comes in. We have tried to force, we have tried coaxing, bribing, using creative shapes, colors and names. Nothing has worked. My child has gone 24 hours and ate nothing on many occasions. When we really dug our heels in and would not let him leave the table till he tried his foods, we found we were putting him to bed nightly with no meal at all or we were cleaning up puke on the kitchen floor. Some may say, you should keep trying but we started to notice his pickness got worse. He stopped eating spaghetti, chicken and pork chops that were our family staples. He swore off meat all together except chicken nuggets. This went on for a few months till my husband and I realized, we were all miserable and Logan was eating less foods instead of more and we did not see things changing. He is stubborn! So now you see what we are dealing with.

After talking to his doctor, we decided to feed him some of the foods he liked but also never making any special exceptions for him. Basically he was given what I served. I tried to always have 2 things on the table he would like so we knew he would not starve but then if he wanted more, it had to be something on the table.

My second has a dairy allergy which has thrown an entirely new wrench in the mix, especially since some of Logan's staples are cottage cheese, milk and yogurt. But Kellan's allergy has made me explore the food world more and each day, I am more aware of what's going in their mouths and where it came from. I want to start going more organic, less processed and more fresh. The hard part is Logan. For example, he will eat veggies, but only green beans and peas out of can. I have read the news on canned items and if I could, I would try to abolish it from my house. But I have to decide, would it be better to serve Logan no veggies whatsoever except the occasional broccoli or is it good that he is at least eating something green? I honestly don't have an answer for this but in thinking about yearly goals (which I still need to post a review on), I have been truly trying to figure this out. I do cook more fresh veggies including fresh peas and green beans each week, those nights Logan prefers to eat other foods instead. So I am not seeing him suddenly start to take an interest in other foods but I am introducing them to the rest of the family. Its one very small step for the tiny cross I bear.