I Drank the Kool-Aid

11. the smell of lilacs
12. Birds singing in the morning
13. little boys prayers
14. homemade guacamole
15. little girls in their First Holy Communion dresses (especially my Goddaughters)

I Drank the Kool-Aid

Ok, my husband says "I drank the Kool-Aid". That is how he explains my new pseudo-obsession. I think I might be becoming one of those real food, crunchy, green-loving hippie freaks.

The truth is that once you have a child with a food allergy, or probably any allergy for that matter, the world starts to look different. I think its tough enough having your first child because you realize how unsafe your house is - knives on the counter, furniture with sharp corners, hard floors + high bar stools, etc. But when you have a child with an allergy even the food becomes an enemy. You go to a restaurant and you have to play detective to decide what food is safe for them to eat. You worry about social events - what will be served, will there be options for my child, will a tantrum ensue when I tell him he can't have that, will someone slip him food when my back is turned? I will admit we have declined invitations simply because I wasn't sure how we could safely handle the situation.

Its been over a year now and we feel much more confident to travel, go to a restaurant or attend a social event but that is only because I have done a lot of research and my son is a great communicator. He will point at milk and cheese and can say "That makes me sick." I can't wait till he is old enough to walk in front of me in line and say "Can I have that? Does it have dairy" Then again, it makes me sad that he has to say those things. Shouldn't he have the right to just be a kid and live life without cares and worries? Unfortunately, he can't. And I will admit his allergy is not even that bad. He gets hives and an upset stomach but at this point, we do not have to carry an epipen. Thank you, Lord!

So that brings me to why I wrote this post. For two years, I have had to worry about what I ate and my child. It has begun a slow process of why? Why are children getting more allergies? Why is it so common now? Why was it that 4 years ago I only knew one person with an allergy and now I know over 10 (that is not counting people I have met through the allergy itself, just people I happen to be social with). Why is their more autism, ADHD and behavioral problems? WHY??

As you start to read up on allergies you come across a lot of articles that try to point to the answers. There are many philosophies out there but they all seem to intersect in certain places, especially around food. This is not going to be a political post. I will just encourage you to read for yourself. (I am currently reading The Unhealthy Truth which is eye-opening and also a bit stress-inducing but good. I also would encourage you to check out Kitchen Stewardship and Kelly the Kitchen Kop. These at least tell you about one side of the information and link you to some great research.) But for myself, I do feel that there is probably a connection in our over industrialized, over processed society of convenience. Scientists are always creating something easier and faster to clean or eat. Is this really a good thing? I don't think so.

I also have a strong faith and that side of me likes to think that just because we can make it, doesn't mean its something God wants for us. He doesn't want war either but we create that and violence and weapons and drugs...ok, I will stop there. Just because we can create foods in a lab doesn't mean that is what God wants us to eat. I have this same mentality for meat. I personally think God wants us to be omnivores as long as we take care of His creation which means not cloning and adding hormones and junk to animals and treating them well.

For two years I have been thinking more about this and making little changes here and there but after a series of events the last few weeks, I have been reading a lot more. And analyzing and over processing all this in my mind. For awhile it was starting to take too big of a role in my life, in fact. Thankfully, God help me to see this and I am trying to back-up a bit. I am taking baby steps and only changing things as I can with A LOT OF PRAYER! If I wanted to make all the changes quickly I would be spending A LOT of money and time obsessing. I don't think God wants that either. I think He wants me to do the best I can. So hopefully I will start to blog a little about my changes, attempts and maybe recipes. Some of them even fit into my 2012 goals and some will become part of the goals. Here is what I am doing far;

- trying to rid my house of plastics! I replaced the family's water bottles to glass and stainless steel. The boys have been upgraded to drinking out of water glasses and eating off our regular plates instead of kids plastic dishes. I always tried to avoid cooking in plastic so that was easy. I am saving glass jars and bottles for freezing and storage use as well. I have stuff I need to buy but that will come in time.

- cooking with more coconut oil and getting rid of canola and vegetable oil.

- slowly replacing cleaners and hygiene items with "green" stuff as they run out.

- buying organic produce, especially if they fall on the "dirty dozen" list.

- cooking with more beans and lentils and less gluten.

I feel like I have been doing more but that is what I can come up with right now. I would like to tackle one thing each week and then hopefully share what happened. Hopefully I can help others a little bit with trial and error. Currently I am testing a green dishwasher gel by BioKleen. The jury is still out.

This will be an adventure, especially considering my very picky preschooler and skeptical husband. When I asked my husband what he thought of all this, his reply was "I think you drank the Kool-aid". I can see his skepticism as he had an aunt who severely restricted her diet many years ago. She also refused to see a medical doctor and it affected her health. I think there is a balance to this. It will definitely be very, tiny steps but I think it will be worth it in the long run. Even if the long run is 10 years from now.

I am not sure if this makes me one of those Real Food people or green or crunchy. I just think I am someone trying to do my best for the family God asked me to take care of.

Mother of a School Aged Child?

6. Brothers sharing a tractor ride.
7. Rhubarb crisp
8. Welcome home pictures
9. Clean bathtubs
10. New, white shiny doors

Mother of a School Aged Child?

So I am entering a new phase of my life and I am unprepared for it.  Motherhood of a school aged child.  Really? When did I get here? Now I realize I am still a mother of a preschooler but we have had to think so much about kindergarten lately that I feel like the former. 

Tonight we had a conference for Logan's preschool. Granted it was only 15 minutes long and you basically look at colorings but it was still stressful.  I can only imagine what they will be like from now on.  My oldest is a May baby. He is also a May boy which I feel is different than a May girl.  I have really struggled with if he is ready for kindergarten or not.  Of course the best advice I heard is to do what feels right.  I am praying but I will admit, I am not good at waiting for answers. I begin to worry right away. Something I need to pray more about. 

I have heard that its always better to hold them back, no one ever regrets it. But then the school says he is ready and they said they never recommend holding back a May baby unless its necessary.  They reminded me that it could be a big deal when he is older and developing sooner than the other kids. My mom thinks its just me not wanting my baby to go to school. (I don't think so but you never know what your inner conscious is doing sometimes).

Its just hard to hear that your child is behind in a certain area or struggles with something.  Of course, they said he is bright, creative and sweet but I immediately focused on the negatives. Then started the deprocating self-talk. Its my fault. I don't help him enough. I need to work with him more. He gets this from me.  By the time we left, I was very downhearted. 

So as we drove away, I prayed.  I did not feel immediate relief but after a few distractions, I realized how silly I was being.  I mean its not like he wasn't performing. He can write his name and spell the name of everyone in our family.  He is already adding and subtracting. I couldn't do that at age 4. Plus, I was being one of those moms that I did not want to be. Overly critical and overly involved. I have always said what mattered most for me was my children's faith and values. They can be janitors for all I care as long as they love God and others.  So what was I worrying about? 

I have a feeling this is what I will have to look forward to next year. A lot of ups and downs as I get stressed one minute and then remember the big picture the next.  We do have him signed up for kindergarten. I will continue to pray. I will continue to take advice and I hope in August, we will be doing what is right. Either way. 

Giving Thanks

I have been MIA in the blogosphere. Well that is not true, just my posting is MIA. I have probably been a little too busy in the others' blogs. I think I am struggling with if blogging is a good idea for me. I don't really have a true purpose for the blog yet. I mainly just want to share my trials and successes each day as a Christian, mom, wife and woman each day. I read a lot of blogs of people who seem to have all the answers. I wanted to blog as a person still looking, trying, failing and sometimes succeeding each day. Anyway, I am going to give it another try.

My big worry is that I don't want blogging to also take me away what is truly important to me - God and my family. I have been trying to seek the balance. I have read two great books lately - One Thousand Gifts and A Mother's Rule of Life. Each have really been teaching me about priorities and how I can truly spend each day worshipping, loving and thanking God each day while serving my family and the world. Its a tough thing to do. At least I feel like it is. Especially when you feel pulled to do so much like volunteering, cleaning and just figuring out all the stuff that is supposed to be "best" for the child (more on that later this week).

So one thing I am going to try to do is when I have nothing else to write, I am at least going to list my thanksgiving. Its sort of like trying to create my one thousand gifts list. Here is my start from this weekend:

1. Sun shining on new rainfall.
2. Brothers holding hands.
3. Elderly couple walking hand in hand.
4. Little boys who have lots of kisses and hugs for their mama.
5. A single red rose.

I hope you saw lots of the little gifts the Lord gives us each day. Remember to tell Him, Thank You!

2012 Goals - March Update

I am running late on this post but let's check in:

1. Start and maintain a blog.
2. Eliminate caffeine from my diet. I think I am going to try again. I am trying to drink less caffeinated pop when I even do drink pop, which is rare. Its the 9 AM latte or chai that gets me.
3. Teach my oldest to tie his shoes.
4. Switch to natural cleaners. I pretty much feel like this one is accomplished. I am still figuring out my system but there is very few chemical cleaners left in this house. Mainly just dish soap and detergent. Those are the next to go. I mainly use Norwex products but also love vinegar and baking soda.
5. Spend $300 less each month. (could be a tall order) Still plugging away at this.
6. Maintain my current weight (at least not gain more). So far so good.
7. Eat more fruit and vegetables each day.
8. Teach my youngest his colors. I have to give credit to my husband as I think he reinforces this in the tub but I also work with him in simple ways by always referring to the color of things. He knows green, red, blue and purple.
9. Go on a weekend trip with just my husband.
10. Reduce the sugar consumed by my family. Have eliminated pop from the house and trying to not bring in any outside junk food. I will never eliminate baked goods. We all need some treats.
11. Begin biking again.
12. Finish the first two years of each of my boys scrapbooks. I have a few more pages in the book but it took a backseat during Lent.
13. Read, read and read some more. Doing good here.
14. Expand my garden.
15. Help my husband finish the trim work in the house.
16. Make homemade marshmallows.
17. Incorporate lentils into our diet.
18. Go to adoration.
19. Set up a more regular learning time with my oldest. We are doing so much more than we used to. I try to work with him 3 afternoons a week but its been tricky. Its getting better though.
20. Try brussel sprouts.
21. Establish a regular prayer time with my husband. We pray each night together in a coversation style prayer. Its been wonderful for us!
22. Get out of bed when my husband does.
23. Switch to natural, chemical free sunscreen.
24. Learn to make beans in crockpot and freeze.
25. Learn more about what oils to use in cooking.
26. Journey back to fat full dairy.

Ok, so I added some a knocked a few off my list. I went to adoration for the first time and it was wonderful. Just to sit and pray with my Savior is a special place. It was the best quiet time I have had in a long time.
Jason and I are also doing regular prayer time at night. We start with a Lenten passage and then we pray afterward. Its a conversational style prayer that we go back and forth but again, its helping us grow together. Plus it has improved my bedtime prayers.
I have pretty much rid the house of all chemical cleaners thanks to Norwex and the internet. I am using recipes online for when I want a good cleaner. Otherwise, Norwex enviro cloths really do the trick with just water. Amazing!
I hope you are all doing just as well. April is already going so fast!
PS Sorry for the bad formatting. I can't figure this html stuff out sometimes!

Tiny Cross to Bear

I don't think I have posted about this before but I have a picky eater in my house. No really, a severely picky eater. As in, I-sometimes-worry-about-his-health-picky. Its my oldest and it is honestly one of the crosses I pray about daily. I feel silly just admitting that as a cross when there are people who pick up the cross of abuse, hunger, poverty, torture and disease each day but right now, that is the cross I have to bear. Its the one that looms over me every day. I know that I am blessed with such a small one but I will admit, some days it looks 100 stories high. I work every day to put it in perspective, with God's grace of course. Some days, I can reduce it to a small annoyance, other days, I let it weigh on me.

I am bringing this up as it ties into something that I have been thinking about a lot lately - healthy eating and how I can be serving my family by being a better steward in the kitchen.

I have always thought of myself as a healthy eater. I had a poor self image in high school from a problem with my weight, which led me to learn more about what I should and shouldn't put in my body during college. This led to a desire to make it a career and I majored in Health Promotions (If I were more science-minded I would have preferred to be a dietician). So when I had children, I decided I would be one of those who regulated sugar in my house, ate more fresh produce and all whole grains. We would even eat seafood weekly. Then reality hit. Trying to take care of a newborn and go to work left little for food planning. Plus, I now realize that my idea of healthy eating was just a fraction of what I could, and maybe should be doing. So out came the formula, baby food and easy processed snacks. I also had a hard time knowing what my new precious baby could eat. I know some of you may think, duh, anything. But the naive mom I was worried that seafood would make him sick and he could not chew meat and that we could never serve carrots for breakfast.

So even though we did always have a veggie for lunch and dinner and I served mainly whole grains in my house, my child became accustomed to sugary yogurt and applesauce and eggo waffles (although I tried to buy the ones with more whole grains). Looking back it was a half-hearted attempt. Plus I was feeding my child as I would have fed myself and as someone always watching my weight, I shied from high fat. Something so healthy for a child.

Ok, fast forward almost 5 years. Today I have a child who lives on about 20 foods. To this day, I am not sure if his pickiness is something I let happen or if its something in his personality. I think its a combination but only God knows. The reason why I get so frustrated with myself though is that I wish I had never introduced some of the 20 food he loves as now we are stuck eating that in my house all the time. Now that I really want to make true healthy changes, I am bound by trying to decide if I let my 5 year old starve or be a good steward of the kitchen. See my dillemma?

Wait, I am sure some of you are thinking, just force him. But that is where the "extreme" part comes in. We have tried to force, we have tried coaxing, bribing, using creative shapes, colors and names. Nothing has worked. My child has gone 24 hours and ate nothing on many occasions. When we really dug our heels in and would not let him leave the table till he tried his foods, we found we were putting him to bed nightly with no meal at all or we were cleaning up puke on the kitchen floor. Some may say, you should keep trying but we started to notice his pickness got worse. He stopped eating spaghetti, chicken and pork chops that were our family staples. He swore off meat all together except chicken nuggets. This went on for a few months till my husband and I realized, we were all miserable and Logan was eating less foods instead of more and we did not see things changing. He is stubborn! So now you see what we are dealing with.

After talking to his doctor, we decided to feed him some of the foods he liked but also never making any special exceptions for him. Basically he was given what I served. I tried to always have 2 things on the table he would like so we knew he would not starve but then if he wanted more, it had to be something on the table.

My second has a dairy allergy which has thrown an entirely new wrench in the mix, especially since some of Logan's staples are cottage cheese, milk and yogurt. But Kellan's allergy has made me explore the food world more and each day, I am more aware of what's going in their mouths and where it came from. I want to start going more organic, less processed and more fresh. The hard part is Logan. For example, he will eat veggies, but only green beans and peas out of can. I have read the news on canned items and if I could, I would try to abolish it from my house. But I have to decide, would it be better to serve Logan no veggies whatsoever except the occasional broccoli or is it good that he is at least eating something green? I honestly don't have an answer for this but in thinking about yearly goals (which I still need to post a review on), I have been truly trying to figure this out. I do cook more fresh veggies including fresh peas and green beans each week, those nights Logan prefers to eat other foods instead. So I am not seeing him suddenly start to take an interest in other foods but I am introducing them to the rest of the family. Its one very small step for the tiny cross I bear.